My sweet Juanita passed away this past Thursday morning. The pain of losing her has been horrific and I have this incredible "hole" in my heart. I feel so damn sad these days.
She has had a difficult time getting around for about the past year due to her arthritis. She had also gone blind - but managed that fairly well by following sound and memorized paths. She was on medication for her arthritis, so she did not appear to be in any pain from that issue.
Then on Wednesday night, she had fallen over (because her back legs were weak from the arthritis) and I encouraged her to get up - I did that often so that she wouldn't just rely on us picking her back up... but when I looked at her, I noticed that she seemed weaker than normal and she had a very distant look on her face. I immediately picked her up and that's when I knew. I just knew. I cuddled her in a towel and sat down in the rocker... she didn't lick me. She ALWAYS licked me whenever her face was close enough.... but this time she didn't. I held her close and sang her song to her... and I knew. She was not really responding to anything. That's when I discovered that she could no longer hear anything.... and I knew. Jim and Michael thought that maybe she'd had a stroke but I knew. So I held her, rocked her, petted her, talked to her and sang her song to her because I knew. I felt like I was going to puke and/or have a stroke because I knew. I had to go to work the next day so at 11 p.m. I put her down on her bedding, kissed her goodnight, and asked Michael to keep an eye on her while he was still awake. When I went to bed, I told Jim that I was so afraid to check on her in the morning.. because I knew.
As soon as my alarm clock went off at 0430, I jumped out of bed and went to the living room. Michael met me at the bedroom door and while shaking his head, he said the words I dreaded to hear.... "I'm so sorry, mom". I thought I was going to faint. A ton of bricks had just landed on my chest. I then went into the living room and saw my beloved Juanita on the love seat wrapped in a towel. She was gone.
Michael had taken her after I went to bed and laid her on his chest while he slept on the love seat. He said that at 0200, she was still alive and when my alarm woke him up too - she had passed away.
My best 4 legged friend, my baby, my princess, my kumkwat, my angel was gone. My Skeeter-bug would not be barking at me when I got home . She wouldn't be snapping at anyone or another pet that got near us when she was in my lap. She wouldn't be curled up behind my knees every night. She wouldn't be there to love me unconditionally or to pout and "punish" me when I'd be gone for over a day. She wouldn't be there listening to my crying, ranting, or joy. She wouldn't be there to listen to me sing to her.
My Juanita is gone.
Michael buried her in the back yard next to Lady - Jim's old dog that he had put to sleep a couple of years ago. I couldn't watch her being buried. My son is yet again my hero.
Michael after the graduation ceremony
Anna, Michael, me, dad
Zander & Zach
This is a Facebook conversation with my family concerning Michael's graduation: (for reference: the place that my brother, Steve, is talking about is a strip joint located on the interstate called Big Louie's. Louie is also from Cassville)
I finally found out the info for Michael's graduation ceremony: No tickets are required. I have ordered a "handicapped" package that has 4 tickets for special & reserved seating and for special parking. Two of the tickets are for mom and dad and the other 2 for whomever brings them or wants to sit with them. :)
Michael said that Rolla has an Applebees so I'm going to see if they accept reservations so that we can all go to eat there afterwards. We may want to head a bit back down I44 to eat because every place will be so crowded after the graduation. I'll check on that. Any suggestions?
I have forgotten to tell ya'll about my puppy experience a couple of weeks ago....
This walker lady that walks in front of the jail every morning told Kathy that there was a bucket full of puppies in our yard! I went out there to see them and noticed that one had a large gash on it's shoulder blade. I immediately carried the container to the car and zipped over to my vet's office. I was afraid to look into the container in fear of seeing one or more of them dead. So, I let the clinic tech check to see if there were any deads one - there was not. whew!
I told the Vet to fix the one that was injured. He then asked me if I was responsible for these puppies and I told him NO! They were found at the jail and one was injured - that's the reason why I brought them to him. He asked me if I would be taking them home and caring for them until I found homes for them and once again, I told him NO! He kept pushing for that and telling me that when puppies are dropped off there, he usually ends up putting them down. I told him that I didn't want them put down... and technically, the puppies were found within city limits so therefore, the chief of police should be responsible for them - which is his wife.
Later he called and told me that there were 3 puppies injured with the same type of injury as the one I saw.... one had a gash out of his back and the other had part of his stomach ripped out. I couldn't figure out how or why these puppies had this type of injury and he told me. I wished I hadn't heard it. I became sick to my stomach and started crying. Cannablism. These babies were so starved, they started eating each other.
Also, the puppies were only 4-5 weeks old... and there were a total of 10! The 3 injured puppies were put to sleep so that left 7 puppies to figure out what to do with them.
I am very angry that he left that on my shoulders! At that time, I had 2 options... take 7 puppies home with me and provide exstensive care or have them put down. I hate him for doing that to me!
I called the no-kill shelter and their standard answer is always, "we don't have room" - so before they could get that out of their mouths I said in a very stern tone, "don't even tell me that you don't have any room!". They put me on the phone with the manager guy, Mike.... and I sweet talked him into taking all 7 puppies! ;) I ran up to the vet's office and got the puppies and then took them out to the shelter. When I got there and saw all of the older dogs in the kennels, I stood there and cried for them. This is why I can never volunteer to work at shelters - I simply could not handle it emotionally. I don't know what mixture of breeds the puppies are but you could see Rottweiler in one of the pups. He had a big squared head and the perfect markings for a Rot. The rest were just all black.
I hope that I never find out who dumped these sweet babies on our lawn. These babies didn't become so starved to the point that they were simply overnight. The puppies were huge but yet barely had their eyes opened. I'll bet that the monsters who have the mother dog will soon have another litter because they are too insensitive and stupid to have her fixed. The owners do not deserve to even have a dog!! Piece of shit.
I promised Mike that the sheriff would do an article for the paper about dumping puppies and dogs & the consequences of doing it. I guess I need to get it written up and have him sign it. He doesn't know about it yet, either ;)
Speaking of puppies... I'm going to have an opportunity to buy a pure bred Doberman in a few weeks.... black and tan female! My only obstacle is Jim.... ;) Dobies are fairly rare around here....
Honestly though, I'm not sure I want another dog... our 5 are handfuls! But now that we're getting tile in the bedroom - at least it only takes some papertowels and mopping to clean up after them.... heh. I've given up my carpet in order to have the dogs, so I should be rewarded with a new female Dobie, huh? *L*
When I mentioned the puppy to Jim he just hung his head and said, "you're wearing me out!" LOL
My icon pic is of Riker... the puppy would look just like him only without a weiner. ;)
We're going to start putting Riker and Taz in the outside kennel during the day and once we get the chain linked fence up, Larry and Pepper will go in it. (weather permitting) I think they'll enjoy being outside instead of being cooped up in the house all day while we're at work. We have enough dog houses for both places. Both are also in constant shade thru out the day. :)
ok, gotta get to work around the house... we're going to Branson today for shopping and a movie.
Jailerjan aka mama Jan, Pretty Boy Joey, and Hack 'em Haley
Another Cassville Wildcat win! 35-7
This was the first of the final three games - which are the conference games. ie we have to win all three in order to make the play-offs for the state championship. The town we played tonight is a LONG time rival and it was a pleasure beating them. Their team played VERY dirty tonight and even more disappointing - the adult encouraged and cheered each dirty handed play.
Despite the score - it was a hard fought game.
My baby brother, Steve, his wife Thelma, myself and Jim before the game started:
The sun was glaring... actually, I think it was God shining down on us ;)
Won game #21! 42-0. heh.
More to say but too tired to say it tonight. I'll try and do it in the morning.
Camping Trip Labor Day Wknd '10
Morgan, Robin, Me, Markie
One of my best buddies from Houston... Markie!
our campsite with the camper we bought this summer. This was the maiden voyage for us with the camper... did great! The AC works, so that was my biggest concern. I still want to make new curtains for it.
cousin Terri & her husband, Richard
Steve (brother) & wife Thelma
me and Jim :)